There’s only so much time and energy for a person to give. How we choose to use that time is entirely up to us and I’m a firm believer that we’re ultimately responsible for what happens to us in life. Today there was a disgusting topic trending on twitter about domestic violence that caused me to stop and think. I’ve never been the victim of physical abuse and I don’t want to assume that I even remotely know what it’s like to be in a situation like that, but I can see one area of similarity to my own. Those victims often know that they’re in a bad situation, but are unable to bring themselves to leave.
I know more than a few people who complain about their significant others. I’ve often asked them why, if things are so bad that they stay. They justify it with reasons that, while they may seem questionable to me, are very valid ones to them. This is just my opinion, but I think that the real reason is that they feel it’s comfortable, and that the unknown is scary, and that if this isn’t so bad, it’s worth holding on to.
In my own way I’ve been guilty of this for far too long. In my search for meaningful relationships I’ve settled for any that would come my way. The negative consequences that came with those relationships are completely my fault. It may not be my fault that they treated me like garbage, but it is my fault that I tolerated it. Today I’ve finally decided that enough is enough. Holding on to tangential, hurtful relationships while holding out hope that things will turn into something better isn’t working, in fact, not only is it not working, but it’s hurting me and I’m not OK with it. Today I’m letting go, and if you’re someone who stops hearing from me, you won’t have to wonder why. It’s not me, it’s you.
3 responses to “Letting Go”
If only leaving abusive relationships were simple. Sometimes it’s not as black and white as this perception of comfort. Certain lines run a bit deeper and with them comes more complications.
While I know that many of of the relationships that I’ve been in have been harmful to me, I wouldn’t call any of them abusive. I do know some people who are in abusive relationships and I only wish there was something I could do to help. After seeing what they endure from the outside I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is to be experiencing it on the inside.
When I made the comment about people being comfortable in a crummy relationship I wasn’t referring to people who were being abused. I am certain that you are correct that there is more to it than a comfort level. It’s a complex and scary issue. I only hope that those who are in such a place can get the help they need.
I think there are definitely “toxic” people out there- people who drag you down with negative energy. Every now and then, you have to do a little “housecleaning”. So, I totally get this.