Anyone who knows me knows that I worry. A lot. About everything. Is my house going to be all right while I’m out of town on a business trip? Is my car going to break down and leave me stranded and then be so expensive to fix that I can’t afford it? Am I going to lose my job? Does she like me? Where is my life headed? What if? What if? What? If?
I remember that as a kid I used to have such anxiety about going to school in the morning that I would actually vomit I was so upset. What was I worried about? At this point I can’t remember. It could have been other kids, or a test, or something else that to an eleven-year-old seems like the end of the world. No matter what it was, no matter how bad things got, they ultimately worked out. It may not have gone the way I wanted to, it may have been a real painful experience, but I got through it, found a new normal, and things were ultimately all right.
I don’t get upset to my stomach in the mornings anymore, but I do tend to worry about things that I can’t really do much about. It’s been a tough row to hoe, but I’m getting to a place where I am better able to look at things and realize I’ve done what I can to be prepared, and if something goes wrong, I can deal with it. I may not always know it at the time, but with the help of friends, I get there eventually.
I know a lot of people who are going through some really rough patches right now. They know who they are, and they’re adjusting to their own new normal, but while things aren’t as they expected, and things are painful at the time, they’ll be ok. Sometimes it’s hard to see that while you’re in the thick of things, and for me, I’m lucky enough to have a dear friend who I can tell literally anything, and who cares about me enough to tell me when I’m being ridiculous, or gives me another way to look at what’s going on. A friendship like that is what life is all about, and knowing I have someone like that makes them more special than I can articulate in a rambling blog post. Hopefully you have someone like that too. Maybe you do, but you just don’t know it.
I got a lot of push back after my post yesterday, a lot of people asking “Were you talking about me?” If you’re reading this, the answer is, “Probably not.” I also realize that I came off as harsh. Heck, I found out that it’s very possible someone thinks of me as that special person they can rely on when times are tough, and for that I am astounded and humble. As I’ve said many times, “I’m just me.”
I know first hand what it’s like to feel alone, that you have no one to turn to, that you don’t have anyone you think you can reach out to. That your problem is stupid and you shouldn’t bother someone else with it, while simultaneously being completely overwhelmed by it. Whether it’s a material problem like a leaky pipe or an intangible problem like the end of a relationship, just remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. Don’t be too proud to ask someone for help, or just to listen. You’d be surprised how many people care about you. If you don’t think you have anyone, drop me a line. At the very least, I’ll be here to listen. As someone who knows that pain of feeling that you’re all alone in a struggle, I don’t want anyone else to deal with that.
Whatever it is, no matter how bad, you’ll get through it. Everything is going to be OK.