I Really Need To Knock It Off

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.”

Ellen Hubbard

I’ve had a problem with worrying about things my whole life. Whether it’s if I locked the door to the house, is my tire pressure low, did I do that the best way possible, or what someone will think about me the first time we meet, it’s a problem. During last summer’s 90 in 90 I wrote a post about worrying and said that it’s not worth wasting your time worrying about things you can’t control. I still firmly believe that to be true, but what about the one thing you can control? Yourself?

I need to get to the point where I can tell myself that even though I’m not perfect or that I may have done things the best way possible, that it’s OK and to move on. I have an especially hard time dealing with situations where I know I did something wrong and it had a negative consequence, either I hurt someone else’s feelings or I manged to break something. The other party may say that it’s fine and to move on, but I really have an extremely hard time forgiving myself, and then not only am I worrying about what I did to upset the other person, but now I worry that my inability to let it go is now pushing the other person away.

I’m not perfect, and I don’t want to be, but I really need to get to a place where I can be more accepting that things don’t always go right, that what’s done is done and to learn from my mistakes and move on. The trick is figuring out how to get there.

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